HELLO ?!

Is anyone in charge here?  Who can I talk to about the general state of life and beat-up-ness and annoyance and frustration that seems to be completely inescapable at the moment?  It’s the summer for crying out loud!  Aren’t we supposed to be taking it easy until life back to school starts in September?!  

Are we working too hard?

Are we taking on too much?

Are we keeping it all in?

Why are we mountaining our molehills?

Where are these flowers we should be stopping to be smelling?  

ExCUSE me!  Are you listening?  Are you listening to me?!

Can I get an answer please?  I’m waiting.  I’M WAITING.*

*feel a bit better now.  Thank you.

The Long Goodbye

What a week. 

What a kick- in- the- stomach- punch- in- the- face week.

I’ve said goodbye to three of my most favourite boys over the last week and am now a complete and utter mess.

Goodbye Harry Potter. Goodbye Eric Taylor. Goodbye Tim Riggins.

This was obviously some pretty bad timing on my part.  I mean, how much can an uber-sensitive crybaby like me possibly take?

I’m going to sit on this sadness for awhile.  Languish in my longing.  Maintain the misery.  Pout while pining over.  This is awful.  Just awful.  These guys were pretty inspiring.  They made hard decisions.  They fought the good fight.  They pushed through. They did the right thing when it was so much easier to do the wrong thing.  They’re not guys.  They’re men.  Not many of those around these days.  

I’ll be strong, Harry.  I will be true to myself, Coach Taylor.  I will make the necessary sacrifices, Tim.

I miss you all so much already.

The Dirty Brownie

Five beautiful friends surrounded a table – ‘that table’ – at Garde Manger one steamy Saturday night in July. Food, sublime; wineglasses ever full; soundtrack, a hit list of forgotten dancebeat classics.    

"Dessert?"  Asked our server. "Of course!" Said The Little Boozy One in the Corner.

Beignets & a brownie sundae, with a bottle of Sauternes, for the table, if you please.

The beignets?  Yes, quite delicious, but that brownie?  Oh, my and oh la la …

Warm and gooey pudding-y centre;

Rich taste of dense cocoa and fudge;

Seductive mingling with an accomplished partner in crime, melting creamy ice cream.   

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen that face on you before”, S said to the Little Boozy One.

“Few people have, S, few people have.” was her reply.

And that is how a simple brownie sundae becomes The Dirty Brownie.

Picky, Picky, Picky

“Large ¾ full, extra hot, 1% latte, half – caf, two raw sugars, light foam”.

Come again?

This was ordered by the woman in front of me in line at the coffee shop this morning.  Of course I had to side glance her, I mean, really, SIX modifications on a simple latte?

I wonder about these people.  How do they know?  What type of tumultuous road to latte perfection did this poor woman travel to finally reach morning nirvana?  Did she spit out the latte with one raw sugar on account of overt bitterness?  Encounter a sleepless night with the full caf?  Oh, Sweet Jesus, the hardships are almost too much to bear!  

So, I ordered my Americano (2 shots of espresso + hot water), took in her stink eye (because of course she noticed me side glancing her) and made my way into the office all the while thinking …

Life’s complicated enough, can’t we at least keep our coffee simple?

For You, Thia ...

Hi Thia,

I know.  I know I've been really bad, not writing everyday.  I had no idea how much you enjoyed reading me and that it upsets you when there's nothing new to read. I really don't like you upset.  To be honest you kind of scare me when you're upset.  I do want to apologize, for making you go to the trouble of logging on everyday hoping to find something new and being disappointed to find the same old stuff, but I can't help it, this writing thing isn't easy.  But yes, yes, I guess logging on to the blog everyday isn't either.  You're right, you're right.  Okay, I know, yes, okay, I'm sorry.  I'm really really sorry.

So, thank you very much for having us all over for dinner last night, you're really the best.  I know Effie will never tell you how lucky she is to have you for a Mom, so I will :  Effie is really lucky to have you as a Mom.  This of course means you're sort of like my Mom and that means I'm lucky too.  I'm not really sure if I like it when you and my Mom hang out because I'm sure it means you're talking about me and Effie behind our backs but I guess I can live with it.  You two are actually pretty funny together which is great, in a weird way.  I'm really excited you're into going to the Holy Lands together, although as I said, it's not Vegas so maybe reconsider your thoughts of fun and party-ing (my Mom's not all up for that anyway, although she'd do the Casino, but I doubt Bethlehem has one of those) as we don't want you kicked off the tour.  With the church group.  That would be all sorts of embarrassing for you, my Mom and the Greek Community at large. 

Anyway, I hope this little post is okay for you for awhile.  It's just I'm busy and kind of tired and well, not very inspired lately.  I'm sure you have many opinions about why this is, but really don't feel you need to comment here about it - I mean, it would be kind of complicated for you and likely humiliating for me and we don't need that, do we?  You can email me, though - that would be great.  Please sign your email "Effie's Mom" because it really doesn't matter that I know it's you, I just love reading that at the end of your emails.  It makes me smile, just like you do.

I love you, Thia,

Olga
xxoo.

Quotable - Part 7

"Now is not the time to make serious decisions."

                                                           S. Ellis, Friday July 8th, 2011, amidst hot sun and iced coffees,  while on a much needed mid-day break.

New Classics

Who likes being disappointed?  Let down?  Unsatisfied?

Me.  HA. Hardly.  No one does.  Obviously.

All this happens, of course, when your expectations are so high your actuality has nowhere to go but down.  We’re often our own worst enemies with this, but sometimes it’s totally not our fault.  When everyone tells you something is so great and you’ve been hearing about this greatness for years, what’s your reaction to making a personal determination - once you’ve experienced it - that this thing isn’t so great?  I tend to feel like I’m not in on the joke.  If you’re a natural snob you’ll likely think it means you’re superior to common norms. But ultimately, you’re disappointed.

This happens to me frequently with movies, which is why I’m Opening Night Olga.  I don’t read reviews for films I want to see and don’t want to hear your opinions about them either because I don’t want to be clouded (yes, I AM that impressionable).  I can handle this well with new releases, of course, but obviously have a hard time with those life-classic-best-movies-of-all-time films.  I really want to become a true cineaste and whittle down that list of Top 100 Movies of All Time, or whatever, but my brief foray into this project has been so marginally disappointing I had to stop after Taxi Driver.  I know.  I should probably be forbidden to watch another movie again given the pedigree of this film but really, aside from a scarily good Jodie Foster, the film left me pretty meh.  I do apologize to DeNiro enthusiasts, but when you’ve seen Travis Bickle caricatured for most of your adult life it’s hard to look at the performance objectively.  And that’s exactly the problem:  too much talk, not enough watch.  Expectations have been set too high.  Much of it, unfortunately, feels derivative because we’ve seen the clips, it’s been overdone or the technology is so outdated you can’t focus on the film. 

I get that Taxi Driver is a classic.  It’s just not my classic.  It doesn’t speak to me or my world view or where I am in my life right now (or when I first watched it), which is why we need new classics, and not in a New Coke kind of way.  Each generation needs to reset the bar on this ‘classic film’ idea and develop their own list of films that not only speak to the time, but also provide for where moviemaking is at that moment.  I'm absolutely not worthy of this task on a definitive level, but I’ll show you mine if you show me yours ...

Tell me – what’s on your new classic list?

Back To Life

Back to life, back to reality

Back to life, back to reality

Back to life, back to reality

Back to the here and now yeah ...

Soul II Soul, 1989

How much do I love this song?

My five day respite at the house on the lake is over.  Treasured family, new friends, never-ending laughs, great food, exciting experiences and memories to last a lifetime. No TV, PC, DVD - just the odd text and BBM to ensure I was actually still on Earth.  

Back to life, back to reality

Back to life, back to reality

Back to life, back to reality

Back to the here and now yeah ...

How much do I hate this song?

Back to my gong-show (of late) office, where inane questions are met with a look that's a cross between "I don't give a shit" and "fuck off".  For a second, in my mind, as that's simply not done.  We put on the game face and smile and help and do.  

Back to life, back to reality

Back to life, back to reality

Back to life, back to reality

Back to the here and now yeah ...

But my mind is wandering. I'm staring off into that lake of tranquility where the only thing on my mind was a neverending glass of Markaritas (not a typo) and how Saturday night's dessert of ice cream cake with a side of ice cream could be improved upon (Impossible.  Obviously).   I love my empty head.

Savour these moments.  Cherish the memories.  Hang on to what's important, always.  As we know what's coming ...

Back to life, back to reality

Back to life, back to reality

Back to life, back to reality

Back to the here and now yeah ...

  

*******

So, you may have noticed I've been a bit sparse on the posting of late.  Sorry.  Nothing's coming.  Work Brain Full.  Fun Head Empty.  Zero thoughts.  Be back soon ... I hope. xo.