TIFF 2012 - Condensed Mayhem - Volume 12, BANG!

Now this is how an epic anything has to end - with a bang, leaving you wanting more and more and more ...

Imogene
Kristen Wiig, Annette Bening, Matt Dillon

No one plays a loveable loser as well as Kristen Wiig.  In Imogene, she continues this trend playing a woman so embarrased by her past, she can't seem to focus right on her future - every hope and dream is pinned on someone else because she can't face the hard reality that she is the fuck up.  I laughed hard at this one - at nutjob-thank-GOD-you're-not-my-Mom Annette Bening and Matt Dillon whose really found his niche playing, well, really peculiar dudes.  I rekindled my appreciation for the Backstreet Boys.  Great soundtrack, great script. Loved it.

Yellow
Heather Wahlquist, Sienna Miller, Gena Rowlands, Melanie Griffith

Any movie directed by a Cassavetes is going to be weird.  And not because they're Greek.  They're renegade film makers, starting with dad John, who, along with wife Gena Rowlands, was a pioneer of independent film (financing them with his Hollywood paycheques),  deploying techniques of improvisation and 'documentary style' filmmaking.   Son Nick is following in his Dad's footsteps and we're all along for this crazy ride.  Mary (played by Heather Wahlquist, who also co-wrote the screenplay with Nick), seems normal enough but we soon realise that anyone with a sole steady diet of 20 Vicodan w/ Vodka chaser can't really be all that normal.  What happens through most of the film is in Mary's head, or is it?  It was wild and weird and completely riveting. 

The Master
Joaquin Phoenix, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Amy Adams

Paul Thomas Anderson, who wrote and directed The Master is one talented guy.  He writes, he directs and has the ability to draw out the most riveting performances in his actors.  Sure, he casts some talented folks, but everyone ups their game for PT, everyone.  The Master is no exception - Joaquin Phoenix is a well known nut and Phillip Seymour Hoffman is the real deal.  Together in this film we are watching perfection.   Amy Adams, playing the cool, calculating and sinister wife of Hoffman's 'The Cause' leader was the film's best surprise.  The film is being talked about as "the one about Scientology", and yes, I suppose it is but it's also a compelling drama, impeccably told.

Three for three on our last day?  That's some pretty awesome programming if you ask me.  Stay tuned for the highlight reel, coming soon.  For now, I am TIFFed but will leave you with ...

Winner:  Top Song from a Movie Soundtrack, TIFF2012:

 

TIFF2012 - Condensed Mayhem - Volume 11, Stiff

The end is nigh.  And we're feeling it.  In our stiff hips, weary eyes and snarky replies.  TIFFing hard is absolutely not for the faint of heart, spirit or endurance and our week of movie bliss is taking its toll.  What to do?  Suck it up - IT'S TIFF!

Cloud Atlas
Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Jim Sturgess, Jim Broadbent, Hugh Grant

Saying this film is ambitious doesn't quite cut it.  It's beyond any scope of movie making I have ever seen or could imagine in my life.  Adapted by the almost impenetrable book by David Mitchell, the story weaves six separate but loosely related narratives through history, science and suspense.  Directed by the Wachowski siblings and Tom Tkywer it will blow your mind.  It's the most polarizing film of the festival but it's bold and inventive and it lives up to that insane trailer.  I really didn't want this to suck and it didn't.  Whew.

Thank you for Sharing
Mark Ruffalo, Gwyneth Paltrow, Tim Robbins, Josh Gad

Tough subject matter handled with deftness and sensitivity by Stuart Blumberg, who wrote the equally great The Kids are All Right.  We're dealing with sex addiction and the themes that any addiction brings -  loneliness, self worth, control, escape and eventually making amends.  Great casting, and Jesus Christ I hate Gwyneth Paltrow so much.  Why?  Because she's so fucking perfect.  In everything.   She wasn't carrying the movie by any means,  the whole cast was terrific (props also to Mark Ruffalo's wardrobe) and in the end we just wanted everyone to get better.  I have faith they will.

Byzantium
Saoirse Ronan, Gemma Arterton

Movies like this aren't my bag.  Scary Vampires?  Whatever.  Here, a mother and daughter vampire duo form a deadly pact and, uh, madness ensues?   It was good - gory, gross, scary and dark.  There were bats.  I liked it well enough but I think fans of the genre would be more effusive in their praise.  Me?  I'm tired.


Oh no.  It's happened.  Today is here.  What's today?  OUR LAST DAY. WHAT?! It's our last day?  I'm nostalgic already.  NO!  I hope we go out on a high.  On tap, Imogene (is not my lover)*, Yellow and ... The Master.

*just try to say Imogene without thinking of Billy Jean.  Just try. See. Impossible.

TIFF2012 - Condensed Mayhem - Volume 10, Saved.

It was bound to happen.  A flop.  We were having such a great run - ten for ten before last night's screenings.  But why, why did the flop have to be this one?  Disappointment really is a four-letter word.

Arthur Newman
Colin Firth, Emily Blunt

Yup.  This one.  It was awful.  I liked the story well enough - a man, desperate, depressed and lonely fashions a new identity for himself and seeks a new life, finding along the way a similarly storied woman.  It had some fun bits - sexcapades with Colin & Emily! - but overall it was a story poorly told in spite of solid performances.  I wanted to like this so much, even watching I was talking to myself "well, this is a tender moment".  Well, no.  It was postured and fake.  Even the scenery was crap.  There are many things I don't want to see on screen and one of them is Colin Firth smoking a bong.  Nevermind that.  This one left us deflated but I suppose we were due for a stinker.  But why, why this one?

English Vinglish
Sridevi Kapoor, Priya Anand, Mehdi

And then came this. Wow.  Loved.  Every. Minute.  Loved.  Every. Thing.  The story, the colours, the message, the joy.  Telling the story of a belittled and insecure Indian housewife who enrolls in English classes to find her true self.  It was funny, charming, heartwarming and poignant.  I cried during most of this film, not because it was sad but because I fell in love with this woman - seen as a typical conservative wife and mom by her family she knows she can do more, be more, is more but she needs to prove it to herself before she can even believe it - and I felt her so much.  She does, and more, showing all of us that while we are not always what others think and see of us, it can only be up to us to show them.  And, in the classic Indian way, there were dance numbers!

50/50 ain't too bad.

Today it's a three-fer.  Epic time & space travel, sex addiction and vampires.  And I'm late ... Ah, TIFF.

TIFF is mainly about standing in line.

TIFF 2012 - Condensed Mayhem - Volume 9, Pomp

Happy Birthday Violet!

Yesterday started off well enough.  Armed with cute new shoes and a perfect day off attitude I set off to walk my way to further happiness - birthday lunch with the ladies.  Soon in, the shoes had turned evil and my mood was fueled by distinct pain.  Rescued by the TTC, crab cakes, pecan pie, laughs and a good samaritan armed with band-aids, we trudge forward.

A Royal Affair
Mads Mikkelsen, Mikkel Boe Følsgaard, Alicia Vikander

I love me a good period piece.  Add political intrigue and a tragic romance and I'm in, hook line & sinker.  A Royal Affair is simply a masterpiece, detailing the true story of the epic romance and love triangle between a German doctor, the queen of Denmark, and her deranged king.  Amidst this romance is a very solid political drama, dealing with the ideals of the Enlightenment and the attempt to forge forward with a new kind of country.  Heavy?  Yes.  But brilliant.  Just brilliant.  From sets to score to costumes to acting this film hit all the high notes for me.  Mads, best known for his turn as awesome Bond villian Le Chiffre in Casino Royale, was so, so good.  A classic tortured idealist brought down by love and the love of power and a nasty coup.  The young actor playing the mad King was plucked out of theatre school - pretty awesome when you consider how scary good he was, and playing our tortured Queen was one of the most beautiful actresses I have seen on screen in a long time.  She must love period pieces too as she's also in Anna Karenina. All in all, a really high calibre movie full of my favourite things:  love; drama; intrigue and corsets.

We're in the home stretch now.  Three more days, but 8 more movies.  Talk about back end loaded.

Tonight, Return of The Firth with Arthur Newman and English Vinglish, which is completely what it sounds like when people are talking to me these days ...

Happy Birthday, Violet!

TIFF2012 - Condensed Mayhem - Volume 8, Yuk Technology

I'm not a big fan of technology.  I'm not talking basic technology like electricity, cars & a PVR, I mean new modern computer-ish technology.  I have no idea how to use it, what it means and how it works.  I fall prey to its conveniences of course but the whole thing just boggles my mind and while I completely see how it makes life faster, we'll have to talk about how it makes life better.

Yesterday, then, was full of irony.  I met my HLM Corinne for breakfast and we spent some time talking about how my laptop is ready for the garbage but maybe just needs a new operating system.  (?).  She's excited about the new iPhone 5.  (?).  I complained about work not leaving me alone on my day off because I'm just a BB email away.  (!!).  We updated our Facebook statuses before the movie.  (obvi.).  Do you see?  We can't escape. ( :( ).

Disconnect
Jason Bateman, Alexander Skarsgard, Hope Davis, Andrea Riseborough

I won't go so far as to call Disconnect a parable, but it comes close.  Telling the story of a group of people searching for human connections in today's wired world, it clearly illustrates just how dangerous cocooning yourself to a life online can be.  It's often easier to connect with a total stranger with the things deep in your heart of hearts because they don't know you enough to judge you, to change on you.  The couple going through a horrible tragedy here do just that - to the point of secrets and lies and a complete breakdown.  It's sad and heartbreaking and all the while you just wanted to scream at the screen "TALK TO EACH OTHER".  A second story on teen bullying gone wrong was equally heartbreaking and while the third, focusing on an underage internet sex ring of sorts didn't quite get me, it, too, drew you in to the notion of how you can feel so close and connected and important to someone you have never met, that you have only exchanged a few key strokes with online. It was terrific to see Jason Bateman (love, love, LOVE) in a dramatic role, even more terrific was he didn't suck or play to his obvious smirky sarcasticness.  Added bonus, designer Marc Jacobs showing some very keen acting chops.  Overall, not a masterpiece but powerful storytelling on a topic we can all relate to.

Today has come to be my favourite day of the Fest - It's Violet's birthday!  We eat, we film, we laugh ... we live in the real life.  Let's all do more of this, okay?

TIFF2012 - Condensed Mayhem - Volume 7, Surprise!

Over the years our TIFF film selection strategy has been rather simple:  VISA Screening Room pass for 6pm + fill in the blanks.  With the pass, we knew one thing:  where we were going to be every night at 6pm.  The movies?  Surprises, all of them!  We've seen gems and duds over the years but it has also allowed us to see films we may not have chosen on our own, some of these have become Festival Favourites.  This year, the folks at TIFF have done away with the pass making our lives a bit difficult.  Now we have to do everything.  Julie did most of the selection heavy lifting this year, with a few must see's from the rest of us.  So far, so great - especially the one she took us to last night.

Jump
Nichola Burley, Martin McCann

This is the one I thought was a charming Irish romcom.   One out of three ain't bad.  It's Irish, all right. Just gritty and dark and, in the true Irish way, very very fun. Black comedy fun.  The best movie fun.   We're taken on a ride with New Year's Eve revellers in Derry, Ireland none of whom are having all that much fun.  We are though, absolutely.  All the twisting and turning and satisfying surprises keep this movie going in a fast paced way that made us all feel it was over in a flash.  Really loved this one.  Along with producers and stars, director Kieron Walsh was at our screening last night.  A classically charming Irish bloke, who I must say met his match with my favourite Irish lass:

GO VIOLET!

Today, Disconnect - it's about the dangers of the Internet.  So,who knows, I may take it to heart and start posting flyers ... stay tuned.

TIFF2012 - Condensed Mayhem - Volume 6, ...

Last year I went to see Tree of Life with my superfriend J.  As seasoned movie goers and huge fans of the medium we needed to give Malick another go - maybe we were smarter this time.  Maybe we would get him.  Armed with popcorn ("Jason, seriously, I know we just ate but we need something to DO."), high hopes and determination we were ready.  Well.  About an hour into the film, we both spontaneously turned to each other (not just heads, full body turns) and started talking.  About stuff.  Now that's power.  We came to the conclusion that we simply need more from films.  Things like narrative, dialogue and a story.  I know, I know we are SO demanding.  So why, then, is To The Wonder on my TIFF list this year?  Because I'm a good friend (you're welcome Cres!) and I'm curious.  Curious enough to give Malick another shot.

To The Wonder
Ben Affleck, Rachel McAdams, Olga Kurylenko, Javier Bardem

.....

What?  You want more?  What do you think this is? A blog where I write things and you read them and you maybe disagree and maybe understand and sometimes like?  HA!  Not today!  Today's blog is dedicated to Terrence Malick.  Just. Figure. It. Out.  What do YOU want it to mean?  What do YOU think I'm saying?  Look at the pretty landscapes!  Question your faith!  Prance in the meadow!  Tell your husband you cheated on him at the drive thru (so mean!  how's he every going to go to another drive thru?!)!  Fight!  Make up!  Stare longingly!  Break stuff!  Look - bison!

I will say I liked it better than Tree of Life.  I understood this one more, and it made a bit of existential sense.  A BIT.  We all agreed that Ben Affleck was horrifically miscast.  When you're in a movie with little dialogue you need to have a face that can convey your emotions so the audience can feel you.  At the best of times Ben's face is high grade handsome dufus.  This isn't good enough. Not for Malick.  The girls?  The girls were amazing, as was Javier.  I'm sad that Martin Sheen & Rachel Wiesz were completely cut out of this picture (can you imagine that?!) because they, too, would have been interesting to watch, but Ben?  No, not Ben.  Blank.  Sullen.  Stare.

Olga & Rachel were at the Q&A last night and this is where it pays to see movies at TIFF - they helped me understand the overall sense of a Malick film (Olga kept reiterating her surprise at the ending and finished product) and method - the actors are given pages of text and upon filming are told not to say anything, to convey what they've read in their faces & bodies.  So there's that.  And that's Malick.  You love him or hate him.  Me?  I'm not talking.  LOOK AT MY FACE.

Today is a classic tale of how you need to do your research.   I thought Jump was a charming movie from Ireland.  Well, it's from Ireland but it's a crime horror movie. I don't know.  Whatever.  After last night, I'm going to make it about anything I want it to be ...

TIFF2012 - Condensed Mayhem - Volume 5, Together

Sunday was a big day - Mama was in the house! 

I'm convinced my Mom thinks I'm crazy, but because she's my Mom she loves me anyway.  She doesn't really get my life and most of the things I do and wonders (whose kidding who, WORRIES) about why I'm not doing all the supposed normal things I should be doing or should have done with my life and why I'm not trying harder to get these things done.  This is all fine and cool and we don't really get into it much anymore because what's the point - she's entitled to her opinions and I'm entitled to ignore them.  That's the way of your family, a word for me that has come to mean acceptance, love and togetherness.   For those reasons yesterday's films were the perfect TIFF introductions for my poor Mom - up early, in line, movies, lunch, shopping, more food, more lines and another movie.  And did I mention the tears?  Oh, there were tears.  Many, many tears ...

Silver Linings Playbook
Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence, Robert DeNiro

If I had to describe my favourite movie genre to you I really couldn't.  I don't universally love any 'type' of movie and maybe this is why movies that defy genre are my favourite types of movie.  SLP defies genres - it's a comedy, a drama, a romance, an everything.  The characters are real, they say things you would say.  They do dumb things.  They want to figure things out.  They want their Silver Lining.  Of course they find it, it's a movie after all, but the road there certainly wasn't easy and when they get there the sense of euphoria is palpable.  The tears you shed are of happiness and relief and affirmation that YES, it IS possible.  As a (finally, again) brilliant DeNiro says to a (yes, AGAIN) brilliant Cooper "Don't fuck this up."  Well, don't - go see this the nanosecond it's released. 

The Impossible
Naomi Watts, Ewan McGregor, Tom Holland

On the surface this film sounds depressing to the core - based on the true story of a family literally torn apart in the brutal tsunami that raged on Thailand in 2004 - but it's not.  It had the potential to be melodramatic and schmaltzy - but it's not.  It's a roller coaster of emotional highs and lows and for someone like me who really gets into their movies (gasps, screen pointing) I was physically and emotionally exhausted after this one.  The performances were top notch from everyone, especially the young Tom Holland playing the older of the 3 boys.  The action sequences were so real I felt the Princess of Wales Theatre was going to be submerged in water.  The story is a miracle and a classic hope out of tragedy tale.  I loved that the real family this film is based on was there last night - emotional embraces from the cast and director rounded out a very, very powerful movie about love, survival and being together.



Mama!



Tonight I go back to the well of Malick in the hopes of understanding what it is he's trying to say - wish me luck, it's To The Wonder!  (exclamation mine, in hope and anticipation)

TIFF2012 - Condensed Mayhem - Volume 4, Bizarro

Just a quick little post today, detailing the most peculiar film I've seen in quite awhile ...

A Liar's Autobiography
Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Michael Palin, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam

Penis rollercoasters, floating breasts, a GraveCam, a passed out in her gin-cup Queen Mum, countless forms of animation, a Freud Barbie voiced by Cameron Diaz - and I'm only scratching the surface.  I must admit to not knowing much about Monty Python.  I think their movies and bits were pretty hilarious but I can't recite from them at will like many diehard fans.  From what I do know, and what I learned last night, this incredibly weird movie was a perfect tribute to a Python that left us, and his comrades, too soon. 

We were joined last night by the film's three directors and Python Terry Jones (incidentally, one of whom is Terry's son).  At the film's conclusion, and after a hilarious Q & A, they all led the audience in a Sing-A-Long of this gem:

SPIKE
Monty Python: The 16 Ton Megaset - Sit On My Face!
www.spike.com
Spike Full Episodes Spike Video Clips Spike on Facebook

Perfect Python.

TIFF2012 - Condensed Mayhem - Volume 3, Unique

Do you get the feeling sometimes that all screenplays are written by the same person?  Well, a number of people specializing in their genre, whether romcom or action.  Change a location, character neurosis or evil villian and basically BOOM, ya got yourself a movie!

How refreshing, then, to see filmmakers really push the envelope to make unique, ambitious stories that not only put faith of knowledge in their audience, but also rely on their actors to convey alternate ways of telling a story.

The Place Beyond the Pines
Ryan Gosling, Bradley Cooper, Eva Mendes

Not a film whose plot can be described in a succinct sentence.  In fact, I can't imagine the pitch meeting for this one. This is three stories told not in flashback or the ever - popular entwined lives device, but in a torch pass.  Story One - Gosling.  Gosling passes to Cooper for Story Two.  Cooper in turn passes it to young actors Dane DeHaan & Emory Cohen for Story Three.  Each piece of this movie could have been its own film, complex and layered - the overall themes of fathers and sons and legacy are rich in each one and clearly the guy carrying the heaviest torch is Cooper.  This guy's good.  Very, very, good.  And as with many impossibly attractive actors sometimes we forget their talent (poor guy).  I've been a fan for years (hello, Will Tippen!) and his conflicted and ambitious Avery Cross is the storyline I was most riveted by.  Not taking anything away from Gosling, who for some reason is getting all the buzz, but this is Cooper's movie.  The more I think about this one, the more I love it - for the questions it raises, for its richness, visual thrills and ambitiousness.

7 Psychopaths
Colin Farrell, Sam Rockwell, Woody Harrelson, Christopher Walken

Midnight Madness!  After last year's most disappointing MM debut (the neither scary or good Kill List) I am betting hard on this one.  Knowing 7 Psychopaths comes to us from the same writer / director as In Bruges only raises the stakes.  Buzz has been unreal.  The cast!  The trailer! This was probably the film I was most looking forward to this year.  You're scared now right?  Wondering if a movie could possibly live up to the hype.  You heard it here.  IT TOTALLY DOES.  The script is crackerjack and when lines of such potency are delivered to perfection by the likes of Farrell, Rockwell, Harrelson, Walken and the rest of Psychopaths you are in for a ride.  What's it about?  Who cares!  All sorts of stuff.  Nothing.  Everything.  Friendship.  Loss.  Confidence.  Dogs.  Just go.  I'm going again.  And you know I don't see movies again unless there's a special and compelling reason.  I'll go on record saying Sam Rockwell's performance is my compelling reason - this guy is so underrated I get angry.  Watch Moon and tell me I'm not right (then I will 7 Psychopath you).   A special treat last night, especially for MM diehards,  was a heavily star studded screening.  Pretty much everyone was there - Christopher Walken in his grandpa pants, Woody in his flip flops, Colin & Sam brothers in arms and the ladies, Olga Kurylenko & Abbie Cornish in rather stunning geometrically innovative dresses.  An awesome night all around.

And now, off I go to A Liar's Biography - a fictionalized account of Graham Chapman's life.  It's Monty Python!  Laughs!  I'm in for laughs!

Tomorrow, Mom Comes to Town and, it's more Bradley Cooper and ... I. Can't.  Discuss.  Ewan.  It's Ewan tomorrow.

TIFF 2012 - Condensed Mayhem - Volume 2, Connect

I see movies all the time. I love the whole all of it, from trailers to Awards Season and everything in between.  You'd think, after all these years and all these films that it would get old, tired and boring.  Another movie?  This again? But it doesn't and I'm thinking now that it's because of TIFF.  Every year at this time I see movies with a bunch of other special weirdos who love this as much as I do.  The buzz in the air at a TIFF screening is electric - you can sense the excitement of knowing that we're sort of in on something - and it charges you up utterly and completely.  Of course these special weirdos I speak of are my friends, but as we know, like finds like ...

Here we are again.  Left aisle, half way up at the beautiful and historic Elgin Theatre.  I'm jacked up.  MARION IN THE HOUSE.   Cres whips out her iPad and wants to test out the camera, on me.  Of course.  Whatever!  I'm not posing.  I'm looking around laughing and mostly looking and she snaps this:



Before I can see this gem for myself (totally ridiculous & hilarious, right?) a fellow behind us says "oh my gosh - that picture is so cute" ... and after many, many, many laughs, FBfriending and swapping of TIFF war stories, we discover that the iPad is the most perfect sleath camera.  Ergo, this completely awesome shot:

Classic, classic TIFF - a pair of special weirdos meet a similar pair of special weirdos and together find and an even special-er weirdo.

Thank you Scott & Andrea for a most entertaining pre-screening laugh party.  Cres and I are so happy we chose to see Rust & Bone.  ;) 

Rust & Bone
Marion Cotillard

This film was a manifestation.  A manifestation of loss, self pity and the worst kind of anger - the physical kind.  At times most difficult to watch, yet always riveting due to the power of Marion Cotillard and her impossibly expressive face.  I'm not side blinding on this one.  Yes, I absolutely adore her.  And, now more so because of her willingness to not play to her obvious.  This wasn't a 'let's get ugly Charlize/Halle Oscar Bait' part - this was still Marion, but Marion dialed down real and raw.  She tied the film together for me, gave it a soul and as she resurrected herself out of her own tragedy, we, too, rose with her - powered by that impossibly impressive, beautiful, face.

Next up .. Shady Pines & 7 Crazy People.  Confused?  Stay Tuned, we've only just begun!

TIFF 2012 – Condensed Mayhem – Volume 1, Merry TIFF-Mas!

Dim the lights!

Cue the music!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! 

Really, you say?  Better than Christmas? 

Yes!  Yes, indeed!  Just a tad, just a sliver, yes, just a bit!  Because all the money you spend on TIFF is just for you! And you get presents every day for eleven days (that makes it even better than Hannukah!)!

Merry TIFF-MAS!

This year we really wanted to dial it down.  But you know what happens, right?  You get caught up and sucked in and before you know it you’re seeing 18 movies and taking time off work and are caught up in it all again!

Merry TIFF-MAS!

I’m looking forward to much this year:  my girl crush Marion; my boys Ewan & Colin & Jason; the hope that I will actually like a Terrence Malick film; the potential train wreck of Cloud Atlas; Violet’s Annual TIFF Birthday; sleepovers; my Mom’s first TIFF; exit Grace, enter James and all of it – the buzz, the hype, the dashing around town … it IS the most wonderful time of the year!

Merry TIFF-MAS!

Tonight we kick things off with the premiere of Rust & Bone, starring Marion Cotillard.  She of my number one girl crush.  I had no idea what this movie was about until yesterday – Marion portrays a woman who somehow loses her legs and needs to find the love within herself to let love back in, all the while looking ridiculously gorgeous, or something like that.  I hate movies like this.  I can barely get myself together with all four limbs, what the hell?!  But, she’s Marion and she’s brilliant and starting off the festival with an odd one is always a good idea.  It gets you thinking about bigger things, other worlds and people, their struggles and challenges which are more often far worse than your own.  Amidst all the frenzy surrounding TIFF, that’s always at the core for me – powerful messages shrouded in entertainment.

Merry TIFF-MAS to all, and to all a good 11 nights!

Gotta Be

Do you read your horoscope?  I do.  Religiously. I know, seems kind of dumb for a ‘prove it to me’ person like me, but whatever it's usually pretty fun. 

Over the last little while though my horoscope has been major doomsday.  Apparently, my life is in major turmoil.  I have no direction.  I am searching for something that I cannot find.  I need help and focus.  I am lost on life’s great highway. 

Well, doesn’t that just suck?  Do these people know I am to be the hip hip hooray of the horoscope world?!  I can’t have this!  I’m better than that!  But am I?  It IS true that  lately I have been feeling out of sorts – not majorily, but somewhat.  I’m mopey.  Oversensitive.  I’m not really in the mood for anything.  It takes some effort to get me going.  I have tendencies of all these things, sure, but they just seem to be manifesting at the same time right now and it’s lasting way too long and I don’t like it.  I thought I was just tired, so I bow out of plans and then sit at home sulking, wondering what kind of fun all my friends are having without me.  I thought I needed a project to work on so I think I should move but then wonder where will I go.  I’ve been feeling annoyed at work so I figure I should look for another job but then realize I don’t want to do anything else.  I’m feeling beat up.  And restless.  What is going on?     

And amidst all this, when I’m really wondering what happened to happy-go-lucky-me and when she’ll come back, I read this:

“You may be lacking motivation right now, Sagittarius. That's because you haven't formed a formal definition of where you want to go from here, and who you want to be when you get there. That's why you need a personal motto that will capture your plans for your future self - something very positive and dynamic. Your new motto, which should announce your intentions for the kind of success you seek, will become your mantra. Once you've identified that, your path forward will be very easy to find and follow.”

What the hell is this supposed to mean?!  I know, I know.  It’s a horoscope.  Big deal. But seriously, this encapsulates so much of what’s wrong right now it could maybe turn things into something right.  A little focus, a little look forward.  It could help, at least a little.  Of course I’m now thinking about this all the time but nothing seems to jive. I don’t know what my intentions are.  I don’t know what I’m seeking.  Finding a mantra sure is tons of pressure. 

And amidst all this, when I’m really wondering what will ever happen to happy-go-lucky me and what if she never comes back, I hear this:

Yeah, I know.  It’s just a song.  I still have no idea where I’m going or what I want or why I’m feeling this way, but I know (I know!) that I can be all these things.  I can be bad and bold and wise and hard and strong and cool and calm.  Will love save the day?  Doubtful, but you know what, who the hell knows.  And if I am these things maybe it will.  Maybe I'll just figure it all out in my own sweet time. 

Right?

Oh, no. You. Didn't.

"Do you have kids."

"No, I don't."

"Oh, that's okay."

Oh, yes.  She. Did.

Aw, shucks, lady, thank you for legitimizing my lazy womb.