... organize.
Let's get organized!
Ah, friends, can a battlecry be more inspiring?
We shall get together, work together, defeat our enemies together, figure it out together, clear our clutter together!
Ah, fine, border battles of yore have now been replaced by battles over closet space but you see where I'm going, right - we must get organized!
So, get organized I did. My organizational spasm had me living through clothes on my dining table, garbage bags in my den and an overall sense of overwhelmed and exasperated for about three weeks (I really dislike stop/start projects, but there was no choice!). I will confess that I'm not an unorganized person at all, everything is always neat and clean and in its' proper place - before / after photos of my closets & drawers, had I taken them, would have been completely undistinguishable - the issue for me was the actual possibility that my closets & drawers were going to combust or revolt in protest over their 'over-stuffed-ness'. That I was going to combust or revolt in protest of my 'over-squished-ness'. I simply have a ton of stuff. I keep things. I keep buying things. I don't have space for these things. Things like, every things, from clothes to towels to undergarments in every colour and sheets and trinkets and maps of foreign cities which I hope to go to again and of course need the same map I used before and random stationary and magazines with one great article that I will never reread to cables and instruction manuals and original boxes and years worth of Christmas Cards and the list goes on and on and on and on.
Ah, fuck, do you see the problem?! I'm a high end hoarder with compulsive buying disease!
I had to clear my place of the no longer useful and take an inventory of what was actually in these closets and drawers, so I could put my brain on notice: stop buying stuff! You don't need more stuff! I conducted a very trying self - interrogation with, um, myself during this process: How many sets of sheets does one person need - you only have one bed!!?! Are you REALLY going to refer to this instruction manual when your TV doesn't work?! How many pairs of pants that no longer fit do you need in your closet?! So, this box that your sunglasses came in, you're keeping it why?! I was not very sympathetic with me. Things were tossed, others donated, some recyled. In the end, I STILL HAVE A TON OF STUFF, but I'd like to think that now the ton of stuff I have is useful and necessary (yes, even my 14 white Tshirts because they are all different in their own special way). I hope not to have a minor melt down in six months time when I'm looking for a purse and discover a purse that I forgot I actually owned (true story. very embarrassing. but sort of like shopping without spending money?.). I hope to become the city's greatest philanthropist with all the money I now have because I'm not spending all my money ON STUFF. I hope to be more sensible (but not with shoes. this isn't a draconian regime of suffering and utter non-spending people.). Most of all, though, I hope to continue this trend of keeping what's important and discarding what's not, both on the insides and outsides of my overstuffed life.
Ah, for now I see, could this be what being organized is all about?
Friday, May 31, 2013
Thursday, May 9, 2013
N is for ...
... novel.
Whatcha reading lovebugs? Anything good? Anything juicy? Anything recommendable?
Me? I'm reading something very, very good. Not necessarily juicy. I am pretty sure it's not recommendable in an enjoyable read kind of way.
You see, The Fault in Our Stars, written by John Green, is the story of a sixteen-year-old cancer patient named Hazel, who is forced by her parents to attend a support group, where she subsequently meets and falls in love with the seventeen-year-old Augustus Waters, an ex-basketball player and amputee.
With respect, this is no Harlequin romance.
The book came to me highly recommended with requisite disclaimers - it's not easy, but it's worth it; you will cry but you'll be fine - from someone whose on my same book train. That said, I didn't love The Night Circus (I'm sorry, E! I just wanted it to end!) but we can't hold this one flub against her. In truth, if E could stand the emotional weight of The Fault in Our Stars, I could too dammit! so here we are 150 pages in and I'm scared to go on.
I don't want to know how this story is going to play out because I'm thinking it's not good. Right now, I'm at a sweet spot. These kids are getting to know each other and they're so adorable in their insecurities and mutual crushing. They're doing all the cute things you do, regardless of how old you are, when you meet someone you like but are sort of scared to admit you like them. I want to freeze them right there forever. Hazel is far more pragmatic than I am - she knows this can't last. She's in tune to her own reality and is pushing Augustus away. NO! What are you doing you dumbdumb!? He really likes you!!
Adding to my reluctance in dealing with fictional realities, is the fact that I know this book is going to be a Stage 5 Weeper. I've already gotten a little misty. I have no issue with that at all (quite honestly, at this moment, I'd much rather cry over some fake people's love lives than my own pathetic one thank you very much), but as I do most of my reading on the subway these days I'm not looking forward to wailing on the TTC. While I try to balance. And not miss my stop. (Confession: I am the nerdy girl who reads library books on the subway - look, I pay taxes and want to get something tangible out of them! - and missed her stop a few times while reading and also reads while walking on occasion. Please don't point and laugh if you ever see me.) It's sort of embarrassing. But. You need to ride your shit out (Literally and Figuratively!) so I suppose I will cross that bridge when I come to it. You have been warned.
So that takes us back to the actual matter at hand. What will happen to Hazel & Augustus? I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T WANT TO KNOW! TELL ME! I mean, did we know what was going to happen to Dexter & Emma?! (Oh my God, I can't even.) Or Henry & Clare? Or Anyone & Anyone? I mean, really? Do you know what's going to happen to you?! How can we know unless we come to know? We need to go through it to live it and learn it. We need to see how it all plays out. That, lovebugs, is straight from my own personal handbook of Life Skills 202.
I came about my Life Skills Handbook completely accidentally, after someone told me something that was just so doomsday: "I fear the end before the beginning." I'm not going to go into the details of how this came about, suffice to say it wasn't pleasant and in the end, after some really good and some really bad he was completely right to fear the end because the end sucked large. Unfortunately, we didn't really have much of a middle, which made the end - in my mind anyway - even worse. It was all for nothing. I thought, then, and reaffirm now, that fearing the end before the beginning is actually an anti-life skill because where's the actual living? It's a massive holding pattern where you wait for someone to cajole or talk you into something while you resist and think. You are stuck. It is very hard being that other person. Resisting the urge to scream "Just fucking go for it!" Let's see how it plays out! We are not working off a script!" all the time. And that's when you're not walking on the eggshells of saying and doing something that may be construed as the wrong thing. Spoiler alert: I am not an eggshell type of person. Enter Life Skills 202, where We See How Things Play Out. In case you are wondering, there are only two levels in my Life Skills Handbook. Life Skills 101 is where you learn things like putting your pants on before your shoes. It's a work in progress.
So, here I am. At an impasse with The Fault in Our Stars because I don't want to see how things are going to play out. I am failing at my own handbook with fake people. Dear Lord. Get a grip, Olga, you little wimp. You're tougher than this. You're better than this. ALL THIS. AND THAT. Even amidst periods of monumental self - doubt and insecurity you know you were better than that (I only know this thanks to my boo). I'm trudging forward. And honest to God, Hazel better trudge too. We need to see how it all plays out - for Hazel & Augustus & Olga. It's not really a novel idea, lovebugs, it's just a life skill. ;)
N is for Novel.
Whatcha reading lovebugs? Anything good? Anything juicy? Anything recommendable?
Me? I'm reading something very, very good. Not necessarily juicy. I am pretty sure it's not recommendable in an enjoyable read kind of way.
You see, The Fault in Our Stars, written by John Green, is the story of a sixteen-year-old cancer patient named Hazel, who is forced by her parents to attend a support group, where she subsequently meets and falls in love with the seventeen-year-old Augustus Waters, an ex-basketball player and amputee.
With respect, this is no Harlequin romance.
The book came to me highly recommended with requisite disclaimers - it's not easy, but it's worth it; you will cry but you'll be fine - from someone whose on my same book train. That said, I didn't love The Night Circus (I'm sorry, E! I just wanted it to end!) but we can't hold this one flub against her. In truth, if E could stand the emotional weight of The Fault in Our Stars, I could too dammit! so here we are 150 pages in and I'm scared to go on.
I don't want to know how this story is going to play out because I'm thinking it's not good. Right now, I'm at a sweet spot. These kids are getting to know each other and they're so adorable in their insecurities and mutual crushing. They're doing all the cute things you do, regardless of how old you are, when you meet someone you like but are sort of scared to admit you like them. I want to freeze them right there forever. Hazel is far more pragmatic than I am - she knows this can't last. She's in tune to her own reality and is pushing Augustus away. NO! What are you doing you dumbdumb!? He really likes you!!
Adding to my reluctance in dealing with fictional realities, is the fact that I know this book is going to be a Stage 5 Weeper. I've already gotten a little misty. I have no issue with that at all (quite honestly, at this moment, I'd much rather cry over some fake people's love lives than my own pathetic one thank you very much), but as I do most of my reading on the subway these days I'm not looking forward to wailing on the TTC. While I try to balance. And not miss my stop. (Confession: I am the nerdy girl who reads library books on the subway - look, I pay taxes and want to get something tangible out of them! - and missed her stop a few times while reading and also reads while walking on occasion. Please don't point and laugh if you ever see me.) It's sort of embarrassing. But. You need to ride your shit out (Literally and Figuratively!) so I suppose I will cross that bridge when I come to it. You have been warned.
So that takes us back to the actual matter at hand. What will happen to Hazel & Augustus? I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T WANT TO KNOW! TELL ME! I mean, did we know what was going to happen to Dexter & Emma?! (Oh my God, I can't even.) Or Henry & Clare? Or Anyone & Anyone? I mean, really? Do you know what's going to happen to you?! How can we know unless we come to know? We need to go through it to live it and learn it. We need to see how it all plays out. That, lovebugs, is straight from my own personal handbook of Life Skills 202.
I came about my Life Skills Handbook completely accidentally, after someone told me something that was just so doomsday: "I fear the end before the beginning." I'm not going to go into the details of how this came about, suffice to say it wasn't pleasant and in the end, after some really good and some really bad he was completely right to fear the end because the end sucked large. Unfortunately, we didn't really have much of a middle, which made the end - in my mind anyway - even worse. It was all for nothing. I thought, then, and reaffirm now, that fearing the end before the beginning is actually an anti-life skill because where's the actual living? It's a massive holding pattern where you wait for someone to cajole or talk you into something while you resist and think. You are stuck. It is very hard being that other person. Resisting the urge to scream "Just fucking go for it!" Let's see how it plays out! We are not working off a script!" all the time. And that's when you're not walking on the eggshells of saying and doing something that may be construed as the wrong thing. Spoiler alert: I am not an eggshell type of person. Enter Life Skills 202, where We See How Things Play Out. In case you are wondering, there are only two levels in my Life Skills Handbook. Life Skills 101 is where you learn things like putting your pants on before your shoes. It's a work in progress.
So, here I am. At an impasse with The Fault in Our Stars because I don't want to see how things are going to play out. I am failing at my own handbook with fake people. Dear Lord. Get a grip, Olga, you little wimp. You're tougher than this. You're better than this. ALL THIS. AND THAT. Even amidst periods of monumental self - doubt and insecurity you know you were better than that (I only know this thanks to my boo). I'm trudging forward. And honest to God, Hazel better trudge too. We need to see how it all plays out - for Hazel & Augustus & Olga. It's not really a novel idea, lovebugs, it's just a life skill. ;)
N is for Novel.
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