Alphabet City

Happy Anniversary!

Say what?  Happy Anniversary, I say!

We've been together almost two years now - you, me, this blog.  Two years.  Yikes and wow.  As I mentioned in my New Year's post, I'm not one for reflection, so I'm not going to tell you about all the things I learned about myself while writing about 'stuff'.  (Because if you read the blog you'll know I learn nothing.).  What I will say I've discovered is that the challenge for me has never been the actual writing, the challenge has been what to write about.  I write like I talk.  I can talk about anything.  Just about everything gets me going.  In light of that, how do you decide?  It's so hard to decide!  So, in an effort to limit options and possibilities I'm turning my topic conundrum over to the alphabet.

The Alphabet?

Say what?  The Alphabet, I say!

I'm starting with A and ending with Z for the next 26 posts.  The first word that pops into my head that starts with the letter of the day is what I'll write about.  Isn't that fun?  Hmm...this seemed like a better idea when it was actually in my head.  Oh well.  Here goes.  It's only 26 posts.  Who knows what will happen.  We may get literal, existential, silly or just plain weird.  Come on!  We've been together for TWO YEARS are you really going to just leave me now? Over this little thing?  Yeah, I didn't think so.

Stay tuned for Alphabet City.

A is for Awesome, just like all of you.

Day One ...

"We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day." 

-Edith Lovejoy Pierce


2013 will be all you want it to be. 

 Go Get 'Em, Tigers. xxoo.

New

Well, here we are counting down the last hours of 2012 and thoughts undoubtedly turn to reflection of what has past, and dreams of what's to come.

I'm not really one for reflection.  No, really, I'm not.  I don't learn from my mistakes, and this isn't to mean that I make the same ones again and again all the time but I am my way and when you're your way and you know you're your way you're going to act your way regardless of what comes your way.  I am good with this.  Very, very good. 

In light of this, I wonder what I've learned this year?  Well, not much really.  What have I reaffirmed this year?  Plenty.  Oh yes, plenty.  I've reaffirmed that I can be a class A pushover, but only because I am strong and confident in myself.  I've reaffirmed that crying at movies doesn't mean you are sensitive, kind or thoughtful.  I've reaffirmed that my hair will never let me down.  I've reaffirmed that I am happiest when I push myself to places that I didn't think I wanted to go.  I've reaffirmed that while words are powerful, they mean less than zero if they are not backed by deed. I've reaffirmed that every ounce of willpower I know I possess somehow escapes me when I am looking at a piece of cake.  I've reaffirmed that I am not a give - up type of person.  I've reaffirmed that I can be just as foolish with my heart as I am with my money.  I've reaffirmed that the knee length boot is my Holy Grail of footwear - damn you calves!  I've reaffirmed that when you've gone through a tremendous and painful loss, it is ever harder to let go.  I've reaffirmed that the best people in your life are not the "I told you so's" but the "we get it's".  I've reaffirmed that I overanalyse like a MOFO.  I've reaffirmed Ben Wyatt & Leslie Knope forever! I've reaffirmed that life's greatest lessons come where you least expect them, thank you, Improv.

Most of all, I've reaffirmed that despite a year, well, actually, a life, of ups and downs and all arounds I have nothing to really and truly complain or gripe about.  I'm good.  More than good.  I am lucky. 

Was 2012 a bad year?  A  good year?  I'd say it was just like any other year - full of those ups and downs and all arounds.  It brought challenges and tears and heartaches and laughter and dancing and travels and friends and family and goodbyes and hellos just like every other year does.  It's how you look at all those things that make a year good, bad or special.

I want more of the same for 2013 - the good and bad, but mostly the good, of course.  I want to run myself a little less ragged and learn to make perfect pastry.  (I think I will accomplish one of these things).  I want to see lots of movies.  I want to enjoy my year of S travel in San Sebastian & South Africa and I want to continue my Holy Grail pursuit of those blasted boots.  I want to share in people's joy and be there in their sorrow and know that these people will also be there for me.  I want to be a better writer and a better improvisor.  I want to continue challenging myself.  I want to try and stop pushing my narrative so hard.  I want to stay healthy.  So, basically, I want more of the same.  Who needs new when what you have is pretty damn amazing?  Exactly.  And for you, I want all the things you want for yourself because you deserve them. 

Happy New Year, xxoo.

Cheater

I haven't done this before, I'm feeling a bit self-conscious.  Like, have I got nothing left?  Am I all used up?  Have I become prose-silent?

Nah, it's just that sometimes other people can say things better than you can.  They somehow seem to get you, so much so it's like you're reading YOU.  So, here we go kids, I'm re-blogging:

"I miss the Daytimer.

The Daytimer was one of the many casualties of the internet/smartphone era. I’ve never kept a journal or a diary but I was a devout Daytimer user. Recently during a visit to my parents’ storage locker, I found my 1998 Daytimer. The entire year came back to me through appointment entries, notes to self, receipts, photo booth pictures, to-do lists, and phone numbers; I remembered everything: what I wore, what movies I saw, who I saw them with, why my boyfriend sucked, specific days at work, where I sat, what was said at team meetings… all of it. And just from quick entries, a few words here and there with no proper sentences. But they were enough to trigger the memories.

Right now, if you were to ask me what I did last month, I couldn’t tell you. And I carry two smartphones, each, obviously, with a calendar function.

You know why?

Technology moves us forward, only. We don’t flip BACK through electronic calendars. And we certainly don’t populate them with our personalities the way we did in our Daytimers. I used to flip through my Daytimer on the subway, both to get organised but also as a sort of self-indulgence sometimes to relive a fond memory. An electronic calendar simply tells you where you have to be and when. It doesn’t encourage you to preserve how you were then, or why you were going, and what you hoped for at the time.

My Daytimer used to be a source of pride. It was black leather, and heavy; it felt substantial, and when I carried it around or set it down, the act of dragging the zipper along the edge to open up the contents felt important, like nothing that went in or came out was insignificant, a permanent record, a clue for my future self. I haven’t kept a Daytimer in over 10 years. Have I lost 10 years of clues?  

This, then, is my New Year’s Resolution: I’m going back to keeping a Daytimer. I may not have to write down phone numbers anymore but I can certainly remind myself how comfortable the cushions are in the corner booth at the restaurant where I just had lunch, and keep the cocktail napkin because I like the font they used in the logo, and looking at that later, I might remember how we laughed about how annoyed the server was when we kept asking to refill our snack tray so that we could save money on an appetiser and only order an entree.

I’m so excited about this, I’m already making plans for me and my Daytimer like it’s a relationship. Together, my Daytimer and I are going to help me manage my schedule and get into shape. We’ll be documenting everything I eat, and my workout schedule. We’ll also be making work lists and travel itineraries. We will never forget a birthday or a song that needs to be downloaded. We will keep track of the cost per wear of all my shoes. We will look back at show tickets and score cards and celebrate a year full of culture and golf. We are going to be there for each other all the time. We will be so organised. We can’t wait to tell you all about it in 12 months. We have already made a note of this.

Happy New Year!"*

Long live paper! 

Thank you, Lainey.  Thank you for validating my black book.  My black book that rules my social life and in general life.  Where birthdays are written in RED and plans are set in pencil (I'm not non-commital, just busy!).  My black book that I buy new re-fills for and keep all-filled ones forever and ever. 

It's nice to know we are not alone.

*http://vitaminwatercanada.tumblr.com/

Thank you, Lainey.

Simply The Best

I am Chandler Bing.

I am Chandler Bing in the fact that I can't with any great clarity describe what I do.  No one really knows what I do. I long for a one word career - Lawyer, Doctor, Mime  - but, alas, no not me.  It's convoluted and requires some back knowledge and it usually ends up with a "oh, right, you work at a bank".  Um, not really, but whatever, who cares.  I have  a great job that I really like and I'm really good at, so who really cares that I can't really explain it in a sentence or three.

My niece and nephews think I have the most awesome job.  This is because I take a cool train (so young, innocent) to get there,  ride an elevator for a long time, don't have to go outside to get smoothies and can see boats from my window.  God, I love these kids.

These kids are getting a little older now (so angry at my brother for this.  MAKE IT STOP.) and they ask questions.  We need real answers.  So, yesterday, when my niece asked me "Thia Olga, what do you really do for your job?" this was a huge test.

It was serious.  The table was silent, waiting for my answer.  I mean, everyone wanted to know!  What to tell her?  HOW?  You can't dismiss kids when they're curious about work!  Bad answer = laziness!

"Well, Tricia, I solve problems and try to make people happy."

And then, without a trace of sarcasm or disbelief:

"Oh, I get it.  You're like a superhero."

Try that Chandler Bing.

Simply The Best.

DumbDumb

You all should know by now that technology of any sort completely evades me. 

I just don't get it. 
I just don't want to get it.

For someone that needs to understand the whys and hows of everything this is a pretty big white flag.  But I can deal with it. I can deal with not knowing the whys and hows of browers and operating systems and the differences between kbs and mbs.  (Yes, really, I don't know.)

The problem though with not having a clue is, quite simply, it's 2012.  And I'm not at Shady Pines yet.  Like, you sort of need to know some stuff.   You need to get by.  So, in order to "get by" I complain about how complicated things are and then I ask smart people for help.  This works because generally people like to show you how smart they are and sometimes you find nice people who can show you they are smart without making you feel stupid.  I love these people.  Here is an example of my most recent techno nightmare and how I sought to fix it.  Names have been changed to protect the idiot, but yeah, I sent these emails.
 

"Dear Genius,

I’m having a problem and I really, really hope you can help me.  It’s not embarrassing or anything, I would describe it as typical.  I’m having a typical kind of me problem.  It involves my iPad and my Laptop.  They don’t seem to be getting along.  You see, they’re just not talking to each other.  As you know, Genius, this causes problems for any and all kinds of relationships.  You need to help me help them.  I don’t want my iPad to go without, you know?  I have all this new music that my Laptop is just hoarding right now and it’s not fair that iPad can’t have it!

This is basically what happened, how I tried to get them on track:

I opened iTunes on my Laptop.  I plugged my Laptop into my iPad.  Nothing happened.

I turned everything off and started again.  Nothing happened.

I thought maybe the cable was broken, but it’s not because my iPad was charging (see!  Laptop is trying to talk!).

I thought maybe the super connection power was waning so I tested out my iPod.  It worked and synced. Laptop is a giver!

I stared at my screen for a while hoping I could will them together.  Nothing happened.

I sent you a message.  Nothing happened.

I was sad. I felt my iPad being sad, without new Muse and Metric, I mean, how could it be anything but?  I tried.  I really, really tried to figure things out. 

I remembered something about operating systems and upgrades, so I went online to do something called “troubleshooting”.  I discovered that my iPad is on 6 (because, you know I have Siri now – which of course is very exciting), and my laptop is on Snow Leopard (a new thing that I loaded up last week), which is also called 10.6.8 which is very confusing, I mean, who would name a leopard that? and my iTunes is 7.  Do you think, Genius, that this is the problem?  Is this Apple’s version of the Tower of Babel?  Can’t we all get along?  Can you help me?

Humbly Yours,

Damsel in Digital Distress."

Well, sadly, my Genius had no idea. They seemed to think I was doing everything right, so I contemplated just throwing everything in the garbage and starting from scratch.  But this seemed wasteful and not very eco-friendly.  I was bummed out to the highest degree.  And I didn't want to give up.  I am tenacious and stubborn when I'm not lazy and apathetic and this wasn't going to get me!  So, armed with determination and the ability to outstare, I tried again.  And then, then this:

"Good Morning Genius!

Guess what.  GUESS WHAT?!  I don’t need your help with this after all.  I, yes I, figured it out myself!  Turns out that the leopard wasn’t really on the prowl.  Like, it was there, but needed to get in the game.  Not quite little, though – it took 6 hours!  SIX HOURS!  That’s a big leopard! But now?  Now iPad and Laptop are talking and syncing and grooving and everyone is happy, most of all ME!  I feel like the guy who invented the Mars Rover or sliced white bread.  I am SO SMART!

Hugs & Kisses,

Empowered Enduser"

So, basically, I thought I installed the new animal or whatever, I mean what the hell?  It was grinding in that CD slot for hours. But obviously nothing happened and then by total fluke I found a tab that said “system updates” which led me to an enormous update that I guess I had missed between the release and present day. 

HA!

Take that technology!  I don't need to be smart or crafty or even remotely clever to understand your shit!  I just need to be a little moron and find solutions to enormous problems by pure fluke and determination! 

Ah, technology, now you're a metaphor for my entire life?  Crafty little bugger aren't you?  FINE. Fine.

5 / V / Five

Where are you?

Where are you to cut the crap and tell it like it is and slay us all with your sarcasm?

Where are you?

Where are you to fix things and make everything right and look the coolest while doing so?

Where are you?

Where are you to tell me to just shut up, deal and stop complaining because that never changed anything anyway?

Where are you?

Where are you to sing to me and be proud of me and make me giggle and remind me how to be me?

Where are you?

Where are you to force me to stop my stupid crying because this is just the way things are now and how they will be forever.

Can’t you see I need you?  WHERE ARE YOU?