Possessed

Not me.  Relax.  I’m too much of a non-believer for that. 

It’s my Blackberry.  My Blackberry is completely and utterly possessed.

You see, at random, without fanfare, or nary a vibrate, my Blackberry bursts into song. 

Obviously my Blackberry and I are kindred spirits as what joy is there in life if we cannot – without fanfare, or nary a vibrate – burst into song, but this is really getting to me now.  It’s getting to me because I don’t understand how it’s happening.  And when I take a break from trying to figure that out and move on from that conundrum to the next and ask why it’s happening, well, question marks and head shakes abound. 

It’s the same song all the time.  Dean Martin’s “That’s Amore”.  I know – so wonderfully charming and almost festive in its simple love of love – “when you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet” - I’m typically all over shit like this, but somehow not when my Blackberry randomly plays it at random times for no apparent reason.  I mean, what is going on?  What sign is this, pray tell?  Is the Universe According to RIM speaking to me? 

I feel like Amelie and that ridiculous gnome.  Okay, not ridiculous - completely charming and lovely and almost magical but this is my real life and my life is not a charming French film, if only because I don’t have the language skills.  Sérieusement!

I’ve tried troubleshooting:  no, it’s not a ringtone; no, it’s not saved on my phone anywhere; no, I don’t hook my Blackberry up to iTunes.  The sound on my phone is always OFF.  I’m not engaging my phone in anyway when this happens.  It just sings.  It just randomly sings “That’s Amore”, one verse only, and stops so I can go crazy for a little while and then, randomly, a day or two or week later it does it again.  help.

I’ve contemplated calling the (no)Help Desk but I know they are going to think I’m positively loony-tunes. Just like everyone who I’ve told does, heck, I think I’m loony-tunes.  Don’t you?  Of course you do!  It’s totally loony-tunes.  Although when I stop the wondering of the how’s and why’s for a nanosecond it’s also sort of hilarious.  And nonsense-ical. And cute and charming and fun and ridiculous and whimsical and all those other fantastical things that can’t be explained but you just go with because they make you feel good.  Like … love.  huh. 

So, That’s Amore, Dean says.  Okay, Dean.  So it is.  So it is.  I don’t know how you’re singing to me, Dean.  I don’t know why either.  And right now, at this second, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I no longer care – I’m just going with it because sometimes it’s just easier that way.  It’s easier to stop thinking of the how’s and why’s and just think that I must be pretty damn lucky to have found this wonderfully possessed phone that at random without fanfare or nary a vibrate sings to me.  How lucky is my phone to have found me, an utter loony-tunes who will now sing along?  That’s not really lucky, no … That’s Amore.  

That’s Amore

When the moon hits your eye
Like a big-a pizza pie
That's amore
When the world seems to shine
Like you've had too much wine
That's amore

Bells'll ring
Ting-a-ling-a-ling
Ting-a-ling-a-ling
And you'll sing "Vita bella"
Hearts'll play
Tippi-tippi-tay
Tippi-tippi-tay
Like a gay tarantella

When the stars make you drool
Joost-a like pasta fazool
That's amore
When you dance down the street
With a cloud at your feet, you're in love
When you walk in a dream
But you know you're not dreamin', signore
'Scusami, but you see
Back in old Napoli, that's amore