Oh, Garth

You know I hate to exercise, right? Everything about it, I hate.   Most especially, the fact that I have to do it.  I hate that the most.  But, I’m oldish and have zero metabolism and love to eat and would prefer to buy shoes rather than more (bigger) clothes so I do it. I do it and hate every single minute of it.

I’ve started this new routine that I’m sticking to, but it’s only been about a month so don’t pat me on the back just yet.  I’m getting used to it, but I still really really hate it. 

I don’t think I have more energy.

I don’t think I’m sleeping any better.

I am sore all the freaking time.

I don’t really care.

I don't really care because of Garth.  Garth is, well, great.  Garth teaches a class every Thursday over lunch called Cardio Party.  What does that even mean?  Cardio doesn’t sound like any party I’d ever want to go to.   Cardio Party is simply crazy.  We star jump and kick back and high kick and indecision lunge (like that isn’t the best exercise for me, huh?) and Jesus Christ the whole fucking time is just pure and utter torture, but there, in front of the room is Garth.  He’s floating.  And smiling.  The class is obviously no real strain for a super – fit guy like Garth.  He doesn’t even really wear proper work out clothes.  Yesterday, for example, he was wearing these long-ish seersucker shorts that one would typically find, accompanied by topsiders and a crisp polo, on a prepster in the Hamptons. Garth was wearing them with a perfect fit long sleeve T-shirt and, well, it was all allright.  Quite all right.  His dreds (yes, I know.  Dreds! But they don’t smell like many other dreds I have had the misfortune of encountering) just sort of bounce and he does too and he smiles and laughs and has real fun at this Cardio Party of his.  I can’t stop staring at him.  I mean, thankfully, I’m supposed to but I think it’s too much because I always seem to be going the wrong way in class and starting off the particular sequence on the wrong foot.  It’s all Garth’s fault! He’s long and lean and almost sinewy with the most perfectly formed muscles that are on view in the most discreet way beneath his long sleeve-T and long-ish shorts. I'm not sure how this all sounds, but trust me - it’s all very, very nice.  In fact, if you don’t believe me check him out yourself:  his quite perfect form is on display for all to see in a poster ad for the club which is hanging in the sportshop window right before you get to the club.  He is shirtless, but that's just an added 6-pack bonus really.  Isn’t he just the perfect host, welcoming one and all to his Cardio Party?  Coming Garth!  I’m coming! 

So, yeah.  I still really hate exercise but yesterday I actually found myself laughing in the middle of Cardio Party.  It absolutely wasn’t the lunges.  It may have been the music.  But you know it was because of Garth.  Thank you, Garth – I still hate every minute of exercise, but you’re making it a wee bit bearable. 

Wanna join the Cardio Party?  I’ll hook you up with a Guest Pass – Garth will be thrilled and so will you.