My ears aren’t all that sensitive. I can tune things out, sounds don’t necessarily bother me and I don’t think I really know what "pitchy singing" sounds like.
What does get me going though – what assaults my non-sensitive eardrums to the point I want to stick chopsticks in them – is the sound of people putting words together when the words they're using make no sense.
To whit:
"These cookies are actually very good."
The predominate use of the word ‘actually’ is to stress that a statement is true especially when it differs in some way from what might have been thought or expected. ‘Actually’ can also be used to refer to what is true or real. This second use has now become so pervasive that ‘actually’ is vocabulary’s new black. Things are out of hand.
What does get me going though – what assaults my non-sensitive eardrums to the point I want to stick chopsticks in them – is the sound of people putting words together when the words they're using make no sense.
To whit:
"These cookies are actually very good."
The predominate use of the word ‘actually’ is to stress that a statement is true especially when it differs in some way from what might have been thought or expected. ‘Actually’ can also be used to refer to what is true or real. This second use has now become so pervasive that ‘actually’ is vocabulary’s new black. Things are out of hand.
I think the statement above mixes things up. I don’t think the person saying it has any real idea what ‘actually’means – they just think it makes them sound like they are offering a better formed opinion than “these cookies are very good”. But to me, it’s a sentence riddled with questions - are you telling me you’re surprised the cookies are good or telling me these cookies are really good? Did you offend me or compliment me? I know for damn sure that the cookies ARE really good – I made them! – but what is being communicated here? What are you trying to tell me?
Do you see? Do you see why I want to poke my ears with chopsticks? But wait, wait, I didn’t mean that literally. Just metaphorically. Of course metaphorically. Because when you say things like “I literally died.”, it’s quite obvious you haven’t because here you are right in front of me CRUCIFYING THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE!
Do not get me started on your/you’re/there/their/they’re. It’s criminal, really. I’m not sure what we’re to do. Has any modicum of proper word and grammar usage gone by the wayside in favour of minimal character texting and Tweeting? It’s actually quite sad that an entire populace may not know the difference between Effect & Affect. At least I think it is.
I know all you are all way too smart for these dumb ass gaffs, so really I'd just like to thank you for reading and if you’d like to talk about this further, come by and we’ll chat over a cookie. Not sure if I mentioned but they are very good.
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