Sleeep

If there was such a thing as a Sleep Olympics I would be crowned uncontested Gold Medal Champion.  I am a championship sleeper – I can fall asleep anywhere, honestly.  I mean, right now I can close my eyes and fall into a deep slumber.  It’s something.  Sometimes great: power nap!  Sometimes not: I fell asleep when talking to someone on a train once.  This is obviously embarrassing and no real indication of the conversation at hand, the motion of anything is incredibly hypnotic to me so best you know that in case it happens in your presence. This time, really, it’s me not you. 

Combined with my ability to fall asleep at a moment’s notice is the deepness of my sleep.  It’s deeeep.  I often wake up in the same position I fell asleep in, which is really handy because I only have to make one side of my bed.  I rarely, if ever, remember my dreams so when I do I get extremely excited and feel like the universe is sending me a message. Unfortunately the dream/universe/message I’ve been getting lately has been rather unsettling. I mean, True Blood – styles.  So, here it is:  I’m outside at a BBQ type function which is taking place on a riverbank of some sort.  There are actual BBQs, and tables with plates and cutlery and napkins on them but no other people, just big mean looking dogs or wolves.  The mean looking dog/wolves are drooling blood and they’ve been eat/killing each other and tipping over the BBQs.  I’m not in any actual danger, but I’m aware that things are not quite right.  Then, I wake up. 

Seriously.  This is the dream I’ve now had about 3 times in the last few months.  I’ve tried to figure out what it means but even a trusty Google Search can’t help with this one – it’s too much for Google! Independently, sure, there’s lots on dogs and wolves and rivers and blood and killing but ALL TOGETHER?  I mean, is this some sort of advanced PhD thesis on the dreams of the deeply troubled or what?  I initially thought it was because I’m openly judgemental of vegans but it can’t be that, can it?  Do you think someone is out to get me?  That’s possible, but honestly, who?  You!?  NO! I’m not totally freaking out about it, but I’m a bit concerned.  Well, only concerned when I let my brain go a little overboard with it.  Like now. 

Can someone help?  Interpret this dream in a way that doesn’t mean I’m crazy and we’ll have our own BBQ – well, actually hang on - I can’t have a BBQ.  I don’t own a BBQ.  Oh my.  Have I figured this out?  Are the dog wolves ME, hungrily lusting for some BBQ?  It seems rather extreme, but not all together impossible.  I do love me some BBQ and I miss me some BBQ living in my little box.  HELP: Can someone please invite me over for some grilled meat, please, pretty please and soon?  I’ll bring brownies and I promise not to fall asleep while you talk to me and we put an end to this madness and I get back to my nights of ignorant snoozing. 

Mmm … BBQ ... Mmm ... Sleep.