Stupid Skirt

I have a skirt I absolutely love.  It's just the perfect length and has a bit of a flounce and is just so perfect.  Except for the fact that it doesn't fit.  This perfectly stupid skirt of mine hasn't fit in a good long while and everytime I see it hanging in my closet I get annoyed and frustrated and all those crummy things that a stupid skirt should really not have the power to do.

I know, I know, I know.  It's not about the stupid skirt.  It's about me and being okay being me not fitting into that skirt.  Somehow, I just think it would be easier to buckle down (yet again) and say 'no' to all the things I want (brownies! ice cream! pie!) and 'yes' to all the things I hate (squats) so I can fit into that stupid skirt rather than come to terms with the fact that I'll never wear that skirt again.  That I will never shop at Jacob.  That I will never, ever be the smallest person in the room.  That for all my outward confidence I am  insecure on the inside about this most of the time.  I guess all those things are okay.  Everyone has their thing, I suppose, but I've been struggling with this my whole life and I honestly don't want to struggle with it for my entire life. 

I wish I had this all figured out.  I wish I could just throw away that stupid skirt and make all these thoughts and feelings go away but I know symbolic gestures are not going to work here.  I have to work here.  And that's the hard part, because regardless of the lack of pie and infusion of squats it all comes back to me and being okay just being me, whether I'm wearing my stupid skirt or not.