My Mom is something. Something pretty fantastic.
She was dealt a pretty hard blow three some years ago, thinking her life was set and ready for all the enjoyments she and my Dad deserved and worked so hard for. She's now alone, missing dearly the man she spent 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with for 37 years, basically rethinking and rebuilding her whole life plan. Ever feel lost ? Try that life blow on for size.
Old fashioned has nothing on my Mom. My bro and I often joke that she is the oldest almost - 60 year old you'll ever meet in your life. She never gets really excited about anything and asks you the same question a zillion times to either ensure you're not lying to her or to make sure she heard you right. She loves the monarchy and really dislikes The Jolie because Jennifer and Brad belong together. She calls Jennifer Lopez "La Lopez". She won't drive if it might rain, says things like "ask the internet" and has real trouble figuring out the On Demand feature on her TV. We nicknamed her Panic Pat ages ago - everything is a big deal and when she's not making a big deal of it, she's worrying about it or convinced it's going to go all wrong.
I know she sounds like a total loon, but she's totally not. While Panic Pat gets the most attention, I like to focus on my Mom's alter ego. This alter ego, which my Dad christened Mighty Mouse, is invincible.
To give you a visual, my mom is tiny - maybe 5'2" and she's pretty adorable - she doesn't have any wrinkles and really hasn't aged (which is scary to be honest but actually pretty cool), her style is markedly classic. She has clothes that are over 20 years old, still fashionable, still beautiful and they still fit. Where Panic Pat is unsure, Mighty Mouse is determined, competent and efficient. She can whip up dinner for 20 with a moment's notice; iron a shirt in 5 minutes flat; resuscitate dead plants; tell me what’s happening in the markets; get a stain out of anything; paint your bedroom; lay patio stones and do all this while baking a cake and telling off the furniture delivery guy. Mighty Mouse is sarcastic (family curse), funny and doesn't let anything slide. She is always exactly where you need her when you need her. She's a little spitfire. This is my Mom.
I get frustrated when my Mom lets Panic Pat take over, but I know Panic Pat is a product of being married to an incredibly strong, solid and decisive man. Our house was nothing if not patriarchal and it didn't leave her much room to manoeuvre. Regardless of how often my Dad tried to get her out of her comfort zone she knew she didn't need to, so she rarely did. Now, without him, she needs to figure herself out for herself. For a woman who has spent her entire life completely devoted to her family, thinking semi - selfishly can only be a struggle. Imagine that.
We all have aspects of my Mom's alter egos within us, I know. Panic Pat is an easy default, for sure. Mighty Mouse is intimidating - being competent and all knowing and capable ? That's pressure. My Mom ? She IS all those things without even knowing it and that is infuriating to me - she has no idea how amazing she is and doubts herself all the time. Worse ? Growing up and even now, when we exhibit a remote slide into Panic Patness out comes Mighty Mouse to whip us back into shape. So, what are we going to do ? I'll tell you, we're not letting this Panic Pat thing take a strong hold for long and we know she's up to the challenge. The woman is remarkable and we need to patiently get her to a place where she knows what we all know. We're going to turn the tables on her with reassurance and love, love and reassurance. It's the least we can do because this Mighty Mouse ? This Mighty Mouse needs to fly.
She was dealt a pretty hard blow three some years ago, thinking her life was set and ready for all the enjoyments she and my Dad deserved and worked so hard for. She's now alone, missing dearly the man she spent 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with for 37 years, basically rethinking and rebuilding her whole life plan. Ever feel lost ? Try that life blow on for size.
Old fashioned has nothing on my Mom. My bro and I often joke that she is the oldest almost - 60 year old you'll ever meet in your life. She never gets really excited about anything and asks you the same question a zillion times to either ensure you're not lying to her or to make sure she heard you right. She loves the monarchy and really dislikes The Jolie because Jennifer and Brad belong together. She calls Jennifer Lopez "La Lopez". She won't drive if it might rain, says things like "ask the internet" and has real trouble figuring out the On Demand feature on her TV. We nicknamed her Panic Pat ages ago - everything is a big deal and when she's not making a big deal of it, she's worrying about it or convinced it's going to go all wrong.
I know she sounds like a total loon, but she's totally not. While Panic Pat gets the most attention, I like to focus on my Mom's alter ego. This alter ego, which my Dad christened Mighty Mouse, is invincible.
To give you a visual, my mom is tiny - maybe 5'2" and she's pretty adorable - she doesn't have any wrinkles and really hasn't aged (which is scary to be honest but actually pretty cool), her style is markedly classic. She has clothes that are over 20 years old, still fashionable, still beautiful and they still fit. Where Panic Pat is unsure, Mighty Mouse is determined, competent and efficient. She can whip up dinner for 20 with a moment's notice; iron a shirt in 5 minutes flat; resuscitate dead plants; tell me what’s happening in the markets; get a stain out of anything; paint your bedroom; lay patio stones and do all this while baking a cake and telling off the furniture delivery guy. Mighty Mouse is sarcastic (family curse), funny and doesn't let anything slide. She is always exactly where you need her when you need her. She's a little spitfire. This is my Mom.
I get frustrated when my Mom lets Panic Pat take over, but I know Panic Pat is a product of being married to an incredibly strong, solid and decisive man. Our house was nothing if not patriarchal and it didn't leave her much room to manoeuvre. Regardless of how often my Dad tried to get her out of her comfort zone she knew she didn't need to, so she rarely did. Now, without him, she needs to figure herself out for herself. For a woman who has spent her entire life completely devoted to her family, thinking semi - selfishly can only be a struggle. Imagine that.
We all have aspects of my Mom's alter egos within us, I know. Panic Pat is an easy default, for sure. Mighty Mouse is intimidating - being competent and all knowing and capable ? That's pressure. My Mom ? She IS all those things without even knowing it and that is infuriating to me - she has no idea how amazing she is and doubts herself all the time. Worse ? Growing up and even now, when we exhibit a remote slide into Panic Patness out comes Mighty Mouse to whip us back into shape. So, what are we going to do ? I'll tell you, we're not letting this Panic Pat thing take a strong hold for long and we know she's up to the challenge. The woman is remarkable and we need to patiently get her to a place where she knows what we all know. We're going to turn the tables on her with reassurance and love, love and reassurance. It's the least we can do because this Mighty Mouse ? This Mighty Mouse needs to fly.
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