Impressive Hollywood pedigree
Academy Award Winning Actress (now is not the time to discuss the merits, but Cate was robbed).
Blogger
Wife of Acclaimed Rock Star
Mother of Two Super Cute Kids
Pals With Really Cool People
Fitness Business Owner
SNL Host
Cookbook Author
Recurring TV Guest Star
Possessor of Recording Contract
Enough Already. Enough Already Gwyneth Fucking Paltrow
I know you all love her and I, once, loved her too. How can you not - she's full of class and poise and smarts. Talented, gracious, so stylish. She speaks fluent Spanish and hangs with the Prince ! Admittedly, she's made some pretty questionable film choices, but I'm not sure if they were all her fault (Thanks for buying me that Oscar, Uncle Harvey, sure I'll make View From the Top for you!), so I'll slack her for that. The superlatives never end and I think it got the best of her. She now wants to do everything and is everywhere. Singing at The Grammy's AND Oscars, traipsing around Spain with Mario Batali, front row centre at Fashion Week, magazine cover over magazine cover, Glee, it never ends, does it ? The Gwyneth Paltrowfication of the world is numbing me. What's next ? Cirque de Soleil ?!
Enough Already! Go look after your kids, make Chris some soup for his haggard voice (we know you can do this from scratch), read an amazing script (you must still get those, right?) OR focus on the singing OR one other of the gazillion things you think you need to do. Stop bombarding us ! You don't need to be a super-hyphenate. You're better than that, Gywneth - you don't have to prove anything to anyone. What is it ? Are you bored ? Unfulfilled ? Do you need a hug ?
As William Blake said (I know you'll appreciate that, smartie pants ! ) : You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough.
It's more than enough, now, Gwynnie, much more than enough.
so you know i belong to the church of goop but i will admit the record deal is a step too far.
ReplyDeleteand i actually blame glee being icky on the fact that glee has become one of the most sloppy and poorly written shows on tv.
but yes, gwyneth needs to stick to making movies.
and as a cate fan, i'm still team shakespeare in love...cate was actually robbed for i'm not there, imo...
Loved that you quoted William Blake! And Tim Hortons is coffee in name only.
ReplyDeletePaul
I really hope that the "Apple" falls far far from the tree of perfection and Goopy has to deal with a reality she cant control for a change...bring on the teenage years!
ReplyDelete